Destiny is on my mind lately.
For one: Work is changing, and perhaps offering me new avenues that didn’t exist. Do I take them? What destiny will that bring me? You’d think that after all the years spent as a psychic, I’d have an easy answer, but no, Destiny, and that whore, Fate, are holding out on me. If I take on a new role, how might that affect my writing? While this current ship has a difficult helm, the treacherous waters are familiar, and I can handle the storms. Dare I abandon the post for one in another sea where the lanes are yet unknown, untried?
For two: I look at my writing as well, and wonder, what is my destiny? Not short term, but over the long haul. What am I ultimately driving towards? To entertain, yes. To be free of the stories in my head, certainly. I’m writing in romance, but I also have other stories, will I work on them as well? And what is the core of romance that draws me, what quintessential elements of truth am I struggling to depict in that medium? What visions do I need to bring out onto the page, and why? At times I can see so clearly, and then, it’s a wall of fog, and I’m flying blind with only the barest of instruments to guide me.
For three: I am seeing time as limited as opposed to unlimited. What destiny personally do I want to forge for myself, and how does my career and my writing play into it, if at all?
I think this is happening because of some of the things I’ve been reading lately, between blogs and books and such. And maybe because I’m now 38 and facing the next half of my life, and instead of barreling into it headlong with no particular plan, I’m wondering if maybe I should have a bit more forethought.
And last: what destiny is really mine to seize? I think we all have potentials inside of us that can lead us to any number of destinies, both great and small. Which potentials do I work on, which ones must I uncover from my own darkness, which ones should stay hidden for the next life?
Maybe I’m thinking this way because of Raine and Jack. Jack went for a destiny he believed was his for the taking, and lost it all. Now he wants it back. Raine wants a destiny that is denied her, and turns her back on an even greater one. She’ll do anything she must to secure her ideal. Worlds colliding. They are both so clear cut. Me, not so much. The Equinox approaches, and after it, Samhain, the time of accounting, to bury your dead, clear the fields of the final harvest. Destiny wants to know by August 30th, though, because it’s the deadline for the first dilemma. Sometimes, I think I think too hard, other times, not enough. What I need to know, is a sure fire way to figure this destiny stuff out - maybe there is a GPS for it? (DPS - Destiny Positioning System). I'm open to ideas...