Sunday, March 23, 2008

Spring, Mating, and Men

Spring, at long last, is here.
I swear, I can’t remember a more grey winter. Or maybe it was just the intensity of it that makes it stand out? While I normally like this season, I must confess I’m happy to bid it a hearty ‘fare thee well’.

I welcomed Spring in a few days back, and then today, at long last, got out to play in the park near by my house. First, I got to try out the real football. Last year we played “Catch”, or should I say “Miss”, or perhaps “Drop” with the all-weather nerf, but today, I graduated to the “REAL DEAL” - a regulation pig skin (or clever dupliacte). While my husband is playing catch, I am sure I’m still playing Miss and Drop, but either way, it was a hell of a lot of fun. So much so, DH is planning a ‘Stuporbowl’ – three rounds of touch or flag with us and a few of our friends. Our very middle aged friends. Hopefully, everyone has good insurance. The saving grace, we are no more than a handful of blocks from two hospitals. (whew!!!!)

We followed up with Frisbee, hands down one of my favorite games. I am MUCH better at it, too! The park is a cut through for town, so we got some strange looks, as we have in the past, from motorists. I can’t help it, I may be over the hill, but I’m a kid at heart. And playing around like that is a great way to send your cares away on the wind.

Afterwards, we took a walk by one of the little lakes in the park, where we observed a spring mating ritual at work. It started with one female duck swimming the lake. A male showed up and started following, and posturing, which drove her off a little further and attracted two other more competitive males. They came swimming onto the scene and the bigger one starts what can only be described as ‘macho posturing’. The first male bowed out almost immediately to the superior competitors. The macho antics attracted the female who swam to them, clearly indicating preference, but then, at last moment, pulled back and began the 'hard to get' swim away.

The two new comers started up the competition, and attracted TWO more males!!!! The show off duck of course, managed to hold her attention, but the other was left in his wake. She lead him on a merry chase, and when we were ready to leave, was considering interest in the two newest arrivals. Ah, the mating dance. It is the same through out the animal kingdom, is it not? The lady drives the chase, and the man can and will be easily provoked into increasing feats of daring, machismo, and acts of stupidity, all in the name of getting some. Yes, love is in the air. Beware, lest it catch you off guard, and make you (as they say) 'mad as a march hare'. And if it does catch you, well, suffice to say it has made fools of the best of us before and will do so again at a time to be named sooner or later in the future.

The madness is not limited to the unattached. Nor is it the province of the young. Indeed, machismo for the already coupled, can take place in terms of what your male deems appropriate when ‘providing’ for your needs. Here’s an example. I’ve recently moved into corporate training. My new hire class was going to take a test this one day, so I asked my husband the night before to pick me up a bag of Jolly Ranchers. The sugar is brain food and would help them on the test. It’s also an excellent anxiety reducer. (Besides, it's not like I can serve cocktails at work.)

He was out at the time, and dutifully went forth into the great wooly bush to secure what he female demanded in tribute. To demonstrate prowess, he returned with a single bag of Jolly Ranchers weighing in at 3.75 pounds. It was the biggest one he could find, in a few locations. All they had were those ‘little’ bags, he said, and ‘I wanted to make sure you had enough.’ Yes. Based on student ratio, it’s about ½ a pound per student. His woman would have no meager bag of sweets, no, she would have the fullest fruits his labors and hunt could produce. Proof that even when domesticated, the male still has those delightful macho tendencies that make us ladies swoon and love them all the more for the antics!


Jean said...

True, so true. I once ended up with several pounds of candy kisses to fill a wine glass I was using as a candy dish at at book signing. Courtesy of my "beter" half, of course.

Ursula said...

OMG, I can totally see that Jean. You've got a keeper there. :-)