If I were a book trailer, what kind would I be?

I’m back on the book trailer thing.
I want to like them. I really do.
I found a place to purchase royalty free music, and did. Not because I have plans for a trailer, but because I liked the music. And I’m into art and such. We know I love reading.
So if I like all of this, what’s the deal with the trailers?

So I went back over to Circle of Seven productions, and I watched a few.
I also visited Book Trailerpark again.
They’re getting better, I think, or I’m getting my head around them, not sure which.
Some of them remind me of PowerPoint presentations set to interesting music.

Perhaps because I’m a sci-fi geek, I have too high a visual expectation for these trailers. They’re not supposed to be feature films. Admittedly, the bigger the budget the better the production. I do like the ones with real people in them, though.

I recently heard an uber-agent talk and he remarked on how they’re good promotional tools, and how they’re made, in part, for a writer’s fans more than anything.

I can’t imagine what kind of trailer I’d like for Immortal Protector, but it would need explosions and fantastic stuff. Except there are no explosions in my book. But I like that: big flashy bangy kinds of stuff. And dark, creepy freaky stuff. Now dark, creepy, and freaky, that is in the book. Along with super hot sex. But if my trailer had some of the super hot sex it wouldn’t be a book trailer and might be classified as something else that may or may not get me in trouble with the law.

I think if I were going to get one, I’d go to someone who did films. There’s a fair amount of those folk in my area, believe it or not. But how do you know what to show in your trailer? I’d need someone who looks like a cross between the Terminator and the Lone Biker of the Apocalypse for Gideon. And Meg? Christy Hemme with curlier hair. I’m seeing big budget here.

What scenes might I show? Since zombies are on my mind, definitely part of the last battle. That would help settle the craving for combustion. Of course, this IS a romance novel, so I’d need to show romance. First kiss would work, but I think the kitchen scene with the bare-chested hero would do nicely as well. And Ramon Salazar, a.k.a. The Spaniard, I’d like him to be in it. He’s not a major character, but he’s cool. Ditto for the Egyptian God of Chaos, Seth. Okay, we’re talking a LOT of casting. Sure, I live near NYC and actors will work for French Fries and a bag of magic beans in that town, but still.

Then again, perhaps I’d start with a panoramic vista of the hot Egyptian sands as the sun sets, and flash to a picture of the 5 canpic jars and the missing artifact: The Buckle of Isis. Then cut to Gideon, all dark and dangerous, in the creepy fog of the parking lot scene, and Meg, blissfully unaware of the future about to get up close and personal with her. Then Zombies. (I know, they’re stuck in my head). Battles. The kitchen scene where he’s bare-chested, and she’s, ahem, impressed. Another fight scene (so many to chose from. I did say this was romance, right?) Then another desert vista at night: Las Vegas. The pool. Ooopps. Can’t show that. So cut to the final battle, flames and demons and old hospital equipment and all. And then an explosion. Just because if it’s my film, and I’m paying, I get to see something explode. Perhaps this is a metaphor for the passion and love they share. Yes. I like that. An explosion of love, timed with a climatic and powerful crescendo to my royalty free music.

I just hope none of the actors get burned. I’m not sure my homeowner’s policy would cover that kind of event. Better check the fine print.